Plan to plan.

Today is one of those mythical unicorn-like days where things come into focus.

As the dust settles from manuscript drafts being completed, experiments being sampled, and decreased overall obligations, I find the air clearer and I can gain perspective.

I'm about halfway through my 5th year of graduate school. All signs point to the fact I'll be able to graduate in 2014: right when I want.  I'll spend the rest of this year (into mid-May) finishing some experiments for a paper, teaching a class, and drafting said paper. I have one draft I just finished, and one almost-polished paper ready to be submitted in the next few months.  If all goes according to plan *knock on wood*, I'll get all three out there into the submission ether before I leave for my internship in May.

Spend May through August taking in life in the "real world" with a quasi-grown up job, and return to Madison in September.

Spectacular September will be spent doing Ironman WI, and kicking off an academic year filled with responding to manuscript edits, making some headway on another chunk of research, applying to postdocs, figuring out the next stage of my life all while taking time to breathe and enjoy my last year in grad school.

Although the thought has been tossed around that it would be perfect year to spend starting a family (I will be 27-going-on-28), my inner 20-something freaks out that I'm way too young, and I think we might adopt another doggie instead.  Less dirty diapers that way.

When I'm stressed out, I plan.  Plan out my day, my week, the next few months into the future, as if I actually had the capacity to control all of it.  I know I don't, that my planning is a somewhat delusional way of letting me take control over a world with very few factors within my control, but planning relaxes me. The idea that I can do something to shape and mold my future is powerful, and one thats really helped me to get where I am.

Yes, I plan a lot.  Probably too much. But I'm flexible and prepared to take advantage of any opportunity that comes my way. 

I didn't think I'd be in Wisconsin going to grad school. For years I thought I'd be a "real doctor", not a PhD, but as you follow your passions things fall into place.  Opportunities present themselves and you can walk down a path way better than you ever imagined.

And so I stand here, stepped in a planing-induced tranquility that lets me breathe in the next 18 months.  Knowing that I can't dictate so much of whats to come, yet also reveling in the fact that is ~40% of things turn out the way I want, I'll have an amazing future.

Step 3: Revel in not training

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!

Although all I really want to do is go home and bake right now, I'm summoning the strength to stay at school for at least a little while longer in an ill-fated attempt to coax some productivity out of myself.  I'm currently trying to write up a manuscript, and although I love the idea of writing in theory, the reality is that I'd much rather not be writing up my science. I'd much rather be doing almost anything else.  Except for 400m IMs.

My procrastination scale climbs ever higher as the deadline for this manuscript looms, and to counter doing "real" work I converted my computer workstation into a standing desk yesterday.  Instead of raising the entire desk, I simply propped my computer, keyboard, and mouse on some large boxes so I can stand and type at the same time! In fact, as I write this, I am standing.

My make-shift standing workstation. 

Humans weren't designed to sit for long periods of time, its horrible on our hearts, our bodies and I'm pretty sure our brains.  In order to offset the negativity of sitting, I try to make it a mission to drink two huge water bottles each day so if nothing else my runs to the restroom punctuate my stationary position.   In fact, research has shown that many of the risks of sitting all day can be negated by simply standing up every 20 -30 minutes.  Something that brakes up the mental tediousness too. My plan is to alternate sitting and standing depending on when I feel like.

In addition to making me somehow healthier, its also made me (slighly) more focused. Its easier to spend time googling the perfect healthy coconut macaroon recipe when you're sitting, but standing makes me feel a pulsing desire to be more efficient with my time.  Side note: coconut macaroons may be making a turkey day appearance tomorrow.

As the title of this post alludes to, I still have another ~6 weeks of not seriously training.  What does that look like for me? Teaching 6-8 spin classes a week, swimming with my masters group twice a week, lifting weights and/or running one to two times.  Yes, the off season is time consuming, but its all stuff I LOVE to do.  If I feel like skipping a workout, I give myself a pass mentally to not dwell on it. This was particularly helpful when faced with a nasty flu-like bug early last week, and although I'm not quite back to 100% 10 days later, I'm hovering around 90-95%.


I've been having some hip issues lately rooted in a genetic predisposition for my hips to rotate as well as increased training volume over the past year. As I work on strengthening my glutes through physical therapy and rebuilding my running technique, I find myself extra sensitive to the dull throbbing pain that accumulates in my hip as I sit.  Hense the standing and typing thing.  Well, that and the fact it distracted me from writing for a good 45 minutes.

So with that I'm off to head home and start the Thanksgiving baking.  I have PT this afternoon, and I think I'm going to pick up a new pair of running shoes.  The Berbee Derby 10k is tomorrow morning, and a feast of epic (albeit portion controlled) proportions is tomorrow.

Step 2: sign up

"this is either a really great idea, or a really really great idea". This was pretty much my motto for the summer. Go out for dinner? Leave lab early? Late night run to get fresh doughnuts?
They were all some form of great ideas. Or really really great ideas.

As I wait in line to sign up for next years race, I can't help but think to myself, "this is either a bad idea or a really really bad idea."

I got here at 6:45 AM. Registration opens at 9:00, and they take ~2500 people (what I learned yesterday volunteering
Is that only 950-something made it to the start line yesterday), I'm probably person 500 in a line snaking from the top of the terrace down a corner/parking ramp and out on to the street below.

And we still have almost two hours before the doors even open.

Don't worry, I won't freak out wondering if this is a good or bad idea.

I'm pretty sure it's both.

Step 1.5: Don't freak out

So we're not even on to Step 2 yet (that comes Monday, stay tuned),

If I had to summarize August, I'd say it was unequivocally decent. I'd give the month a 6 or 7. Lots of socializing with friends, not that much research success 

The good:
PR in the half (1:53), I was holding 8:15s for the first 10 miles, then totally lost it.  I should have trained, but a friend of a friend was able to transfer her entry to me a week ahead of time, so it was a last minute thing. I'm proud that I raced as hard as I humanly could.  I gave that race everything I had, and for that I'm proud.

PR in the 10K.  For my birthday I wanted to run a sub-50 10K.  I enlisted my best running partner friend, enticed her to pace me with the bribe of a free race entry, and we were off the day before my birthday.  It was the most painful race. ever. EVER. My previous best was 50:07, which involved training, being in better shape, and about 10 lbs lighter.  After offering to sacrifice any birthday cake consumption for quitting on the spot, my training partner extrordenaire managed to pull me through. It was killer, but we did it in 49:56 (and my GPS said it was 6.25 miles total, average pace 7:59). That hurt though.  Seriously hurt.

We ended up both placing 3rd in our respective age groups, and got these adorable wooden plaques.  That made up for it.  Moral of the story: Train harder. Friends are amazing.

Met with a good Athletic Trainer about my lingering hip pain.  It doesn't seem to be anything serious, my hips are just a little skwewed, but I'm working with a triathlon-specific physical trainer in the next few weeks. Also met with a nutritionist for guidance about my diet.  I need to up the plant-based fats and not carry on my phobia of fat.  That means I get to indulge in full-fat yogurt and cheese and really work on this moderation concept.

Awesome birthday!! I turned the big 26, which is pretty amazing, because Iron's atomic number if 26, and this will be my Iron year.

Also great things in the past month: Joined a training group for ironman 2013, got an amazing heart rate monitor/training computer, school started up again which means I'm back to teaching 8 spin classes a week :) tried to breathe a little bit and relax.

The Bad:
I still need to work on this diet thing.  Step 1:  loose weight isn't going nearly as well as it needs to be going.  You can't out-exercise a bad diet.  Instead, I'm now focusing on healthy fats, more carbs, and a daily calorie intake ~2000 (its nice to be tall and muscular), with more calories in there on days I workout hard.

So much school/lab work.  This PhD thing is a big time suck. Science is going well for me now though, so I'm pretty happy in that regard.

The freaking exciting:
Ironman Wisconsin 2012 is tomorrow! I'm volunteering on the bike and run courses.  I'l excited to get up early tomorrow morning and go soak up the energy and adrenaline before the swim.  If you've never watched the start of a big race before, do it.  You'll be moved on a deeper level.  At least I was, but that's probably why I love the sport so much.

Next up, Step 2.0

Step 1: Loose weight.

So with my eyes on a triathlon prize next year (hehe...I made a rhyme), I need to think about how I'm going to split up the next year.  On a first pass, I think its going to look something like this:

September-December: Pre-training mode: lose weight, maintain cardio fitness baseline
January-September: Build up endurance + train super hard.

Okay, so maybe January on is flexible.  I will get better guidance on how to train in those 9 months a little later.  Right now I'm much more focused on what is in front of me. I have an Olympic distance race tomorrow, a half marathon the week after, and a trail run or two sprinkled in October.  Technically I'm still working on the tail end of my season, although my upcoming races are more out of obligation and fun than a chance to prove myself.

The Olympic distance tomorrow may be a disaster because I didn't properly train, and I was up most of the night feeling very sick last night. In fact, I don't know how it can't be a disaster.  I've already paid though, so I'm driving up today to drop off my bike, and I'll drive up tomorrow for the race (the race is an hour north of here, and they have a mandatory bike check in the day before...boo!).

Despite my lofty physical limitations tomorrow,  I always can use more open water swimming practice, so I plan on sticking with the race for the swim and bike, and peacing out before the run.   I can handle the first two hours, the 1500 m swim and 40k bike, but I don't want to think about running a 10 k two hours into a race.  I really hate to quit part of the way through, but I don't think my body can handle the stress, and I want to try to enjoy myself a little.  Plus, DNF (did not finish) is better than DNS (did not start).

Which brings me to step 1 of my plan: Time to loose weight.

 I'm a lifetime Weight Watchers member, and although I'm still a little bit over my goal thanks to a summer of wedding festivities and celebration, I'm not too far off being at a healthy weight for my height.

I love food.  No, I REALLY REALLY REALLY love food (cake especially), and back in college, at my heaviest, I was 245 pounds. More than 75 pounds above my WW goal.  Through years of healthy changes, tracking what I eat, embracing moderation (albeit kicking and screaming) and exercise, I've been able to shed a significant amount of weight and learn how "I'm supposed to eat". My weight loss journey has been a very personal experience, yet one of the hardest and best things I've ever done, and I don't mind talking about what helped to bring me to where I am today.

However, standing at 5'10", my WW goal weight of 169 pounds lets me indulge on great food,  wear a size medium, and look awesome, but it isn't quite where I need to be for triathlon season next year.  You see, the lighter you are, the easier it is to power yourself up those hills on the bike course and the faster your run will be.  Every 10 pounds you loose roughly translates to  7-10% gain in hill climbing and about 20 seconds/mile off.  That is huge!

Elite female triathletes have a weight (in pounds) to height (in inches) ratio of 1.8 to 2.0 (you lucky men have up to 2.3).  That means at my height (70 inches), I should clock in at 126 to 140 pounds.  That is not happening.  I love dessert, food, and going out way to much to ever dip down that low.  Plus, despite what my Mom may think, I am not now, nor will I ever be an an elite triathlete.

That being said, I want to run and climb faster (anything to make those 140.6 miles fly by), so a fair amount of weight loss is in order.  I think 155 pounds would be a maintainable number for me, but that also means I have to spend the next few months trying to loose around 20 pounds in the next 20 weeks.  Not impossible at all.  Not fun dripped in chocolate coated in sprinkles (mmm....chocolate), but not impossible.

"But Liz...can't you just eat what you want now and when you amp up the training the weight will fly off? I mean, you're going to be working out like 15 hours a week soon."

I wish.  Sadly, when I'm training, I need to be focusing on replenishing the calories I'm eating and building muscle mass, not trying to diet and constantly be at in calorie deficit.  By taking in enough food when I'm training, my body will be able to push itself, make awesome fitness gains, and not leaving me a tired, hankry mess (thats a bad combination of hungry + cranky).

In fact, the harder I train, the easier it is to maintain my weight, but the harder loosing weight is. When I ran my first marathon a few years back, I remember being floored that I gained weight during the training process.  I thought you could run a lot and eat whatever you wanted (which is why I was a good 40+ pounds heavier).  Turns out that working out and training isn't a free pass to doughnut-land.  It does give you a ticket to awesome legs, but sadly, you cannot sustain those legs on rainbow chip frosting alone.

Running as fast as you can to stay in the same place

Do you remember the Red Queen from Alice in Wonderland?  There is a section in the story where Alice is running in place and doesn’t get anywhere.  The queen notices Alice’s frustration, as Alice whines that normally when you run, you go somewhere. The queen replies that Alice isn’t  in just any regular place, but she’s in Wonderland.  Here you have to run at least twice as fast to go anywhere.  Otherwise you’re running as hard as you can just to stay in the same place. 

The aptly named Red Queen Hypothesis has been co-opted into evolutionary biology principle that  I’m rather fond of.  It says that species are undergoing a perpetual arms race, competing to be the best fir to their environment.  Creatures must be continuously evolving or risk being out competed by other species who are continuously changing.  In that sense, just by existing, we’re running, but we don’t get anywhere unless we really kick it up a notch.

I find this directly applicable to my life: I need a challenge emerging on the horizon to keep me focused and feeling like I’m not stagnating, being out competed by my surrounding species.  After all, we each only have one life, so we’re insane not to get out there every day and chase down our dreams.

I recently got married. Less than 6 weeks ago. It was a spectacular and small celebration and honestly the best day of my life.  Also in 2012, I competed with my University’s Triathlon team at Collegiate Nationals, made it to the national finals in a huge science communication competition, visited Hawaii, Alaska, Georgia, Minnesota, Illinois, Alabama, worked as a spin instructor with my university’s Tri team, set PRs in the 10k and 5 miler, and oh yeah, did I mention got married? 

2012 had been an amazing spectacular year, probably my best one yet. I’ve been so fortunate to do so much and grow as a person so much, yet part of me fears that I’m not going to be able to follow it up.

Then a tickling idea crawled into my head.  It started like that small rustling sensation you get when a mosquito land on your arm, but pretty soon, this idea had fully permeated into my consciousness.  The only way to keep moving forward in 2013 is by doing o something that will challenge me mentally, physically, and present a pretty huge roo for failure. Something that will shake me, change me, and leave me wondering how badly I want it:

I’m going to complete an Ironman.

Okay, we’ll I’m not sure I’m going to complete it just yet.  I’ve mentioned it in passing to a few random friends and family members to vet the craziness of the idea.  I’m almost sad to say that I’ve been met with wholly optimistic responses.  Apparently my friends and family members are way more awesome than I could have imagined.

So for the time being, I have another month before Ironman 2013 registration opens for a race in September 2013, so I’ll continue to mull it over and think it through…

But you know, once a mosquito lands on your arm and takes a bite, you can’t just blow it away. You either have to grin and bear the loss of blood or kill it with a loud gnarly smack.